Redeem Relationships, Not Ego

सच कहते हैं लोग, life का कोई भरोसा नहीं, कभी भी कुछ भी हो सकता हैं. Especially, पिछले २ सालों ने तो यहीं सीखा हैं. इतना तो समज में आगया हैं की, nothing is permanent and nothing stays forever.

Actually ना today, I am gonna be a little upfront in my conversation. 

Just Imagine this - आज हम किसी के साथ बैठे हैं, हस - खेल के बातें कर रहे हैं and suddenly that person just vanishes… and हम उसी जगह पर बैठें हैं, अकेले... shocked and wondering वह कहाँ चलें गए, अभी तो बातें पुरी भी नहीं हुई थीं. 

Unfortunately, we all experience it, at some point in our lives. Our beloveds just walk away, perhaps towards their final destination, leaving behind their memories and leaving behind us in a state of shock and disbelief.  कुछ समय तक तो यकीन ही नहीं होता की वह चले गए हैं.

सच कहते हैं लोग, life का कोई भरोसा नहीं हैं.

Recently one of my friend’s father left for his heavenly abode. May his soul rest in peace. But something she told me touched me deeply. She was satisfied that she and her dad could redeem themselves from unnecessary arguments and fights. In their last conversation (which she didn’t know would be the last), he told her how happy he is for her job, and for her overall. At least he went off peacefully.   

Now, I don’t have to tell you how hard it is to lose a loved one; most of us have experienced that pain. That phase of shock, pain, numbness, and reluctance to accept the fact; followed by a strong urge to go back in time and bring him or her back, check if something can be done to undo what’s happened – some many thoughts … 'काश ऐसा किया होता', 'शायद वैसा किया होता, तो ऐसा नहीं होता'; then it gradually dawns upon us… that realization of being helpless and that acceptance of the truth. All we are left now is with memories and moments - good, bad, or ugly.

All we can do now is try to remember the good memories only. चलो, at least there’s one satisfaction that we didn’t have anything left unsaid, right? We told our loved ones, that we truly love them, we conveyed how important they are to us.  इतना सुकून तो हैं की कुछ अनकहीं बातें नहीं रह गयी. हैं ना? कोई गीले- शिक़वे रह तो नहीं गए थे?

I hope you did not miss saying something, because of that adamant stubborn ego, that often stops you from doing what your heart wants to.

Often, we get into some fights or arguments, or disagreements with our loved ones, we make attempts to resolve it and if it doesn’t happen, then we stop talking to each other. We keep analysing किसकी गलती हैं, कौन पहले sorry बोले, and all and ऐसे ही टाइम निकलता जाता हैं. और फिर एक दिन पता चलता हैं, that loved one has gone so far away that no words will matter or anymore. It won’t matter who was at fault anymore. And it certainly won’t even matter if we are sorry now.  

All we will be left with is that guilt, की, एक बार बात कर लेनी चाइये थी, आखिर क्या ही चला जाता?

At least for a few days, a series of selected events will keep replaying in your mind, making you think if it can be undone, if you could have reacted differently. It might linger in your waking consciousness all the time. But, क्या फायदा. What’s done is done.

Would it have helped, if you would have kept your ego aside and conveyed your heartfelt message to your loved ones? Even if it is something like

“Though I don’t agree with you, you should know that I do care for your opinion” Or

“Even if I have had the worst of the time of my life with you, I still care for you and that remains unchanged” Or

“Yes, we have had our differences and probably our relationship will never be the same, but we have spent some good time together and that is what should matter.”

Perhaps they were thinking about you in their last moments, you know remembering the way you both laughed together, had meals together,  went shopping together, just spent a good time together or maybe recollecting the last fight you had, the last time you spoke to them … months ago.

God forbid, but if your loved ones just leave you and go, what would you want their last memory of you to take along? Rather, what do you want the last interaction or memory with them to be? 

कौनसा होगा वह आखरी moment जिससे आप अपने चाहने वालों को आखरी विदाई के तौर पर देना चाहेंगे?  

The point I am trying to make here is that every relationship undergoes good and bad times. Some overcome it, others don’t. It’s normal and natural. But it is important to not forget the good days that relationship has seen and knowledge of the person’s importance in your life.

I believe, हमें अपनी तरफ से कोशिश करनी चाहिए, कम-से-कम एक बार, फिर मानना-न-मानना सामने वाले की मरज़ी, हैं ना?

What do you think?